Wednesday, August 31, 2005
what am i thinking????
sorry people din update for so long...i just duno how to express everything out..i may look like im as cheerful as others..but deep inside me no one knows..even me myself dont know whats going on with me..its just something thats bothering me..something that forced me reconsider myself..am i enjoying my life?am i doing what is right?am i putting all my effort in what ever i do?what am i thinking?what i need?and so on...what am i thinking for God's sake??i cant really stop myself from thinking about all these especially when i am alone..
from Cameron to catching up with my friends to movies to nite outings and also lectures..theres so many things turning around me..i should enjoy it..but how come i dont..i thought i enjoyed it but when i think again..no i dont...why why why why????huh..*i sound so depressing*sometimes i really wanna be left alone..i just wanna stop contacting with the world outside..i wanna stop everything and just live in my own world...hopefully by doing that i can enjoy what i do..but i know thats impossible...or maybe i can..i duno..i should give it a try...just need to find my lost soul..really have to figure out wat i want..
i guess i really have to be honest to myself that i did not enjoy what ive planned..im just forcing myself in another way to enjoy it..i think i should stop planning outings..just stop...but definately not the makan activities...that i cant stop..i think makan activities are the only activities where i can really enjoy..especially with my makan kaki's..hmm..yummy yummy...
i guess theres no need for me to blog about what have i gone through for this few weeks..i just cant blog it out...and i dont want to..recalling something that i dun actually enjoy is really suffering..so why suffer myself...just let me chill down and find my lost soul..till then..
♥ Masked on ♥
4:49 PM
